fear

I have been thinking about the pain that the people of this world have to endure. Our lives are a lot about loss…loss of trust; loss of life; loss of church; loss of spouse; loss of child; loss of a parent; loss of respect; loss of home; loss of friends; loss of freedom; loss of wealth; loss of a way of life….

I have found some of the most reassuring scripture in the oddest place (to me)…Revelation. When I was younger, I thought of Revelation to be scary…telling of times that I did not want to happen. Now, I’m thinking “Wow, we know what is going to happen! God is in control.”

These are some of the most beautiful words I have read lately:

“Don’t fear: I am First, I am Last, I’m Alive. I died, but I came to Life and my life is now forever. See these keys in my hand? They open and lock Death’s doors, they open and lock Hell’s gates.” (Rev. 1:17)

“Fear nothing in the things you’re about to suffer….Don’t quit, even if it costs you your life. Stay there believing.” (Rev. 2:10)

“Because you kept my Word in passionate patience, I’ll keep you safe in the time of testing….” (Rev. 3:10)

"Look! Look! God has moved into the neighborhood, making his home with men and women! They're his people, he's their God. He'll wipe every tear from their eyes. Death is gone for good—tears gone, crying gone, pain gone—all the first order of things gone." The Enthroned continued, "Look! I'm making everything new. Write it all down—each word dependable and accurate. Then he said, "It's happened. I'm A to Z. I'm the Beginning, I'm the Conclusion. From Water-of-Life Well I give freely to the thirsty.” (Rev. 21:3-6)

What do I have to fear? I know the One who holds my future, and the future of the universe, in his hands. He’s moved into my neighborhood…He’s right here beside me…He loves me more than I have ever been loved.

Lord, help me to put aside my fear, focus on you, and do the work you have put before me,

g

blessings

I have taken a blogging-“vacation.” I didn’t really plan to, but with school starting…I haven’t had time to think or expend energy on anything other than a new school year. Also, Kathy’s birthday was the 26th of August. Since then, I have had a “grief-relapse.” Sadness has unexpectedly drifted on my shoulders again. Any extra energy I might have had has been sucked out of me.

Yesterday, we celebrated Brett and Brooke’s birthday with a big “friends” party, and I have to write about how God blessed us, yet again.
The twins have never had a party that included their friends. They’ve just had family parties. They have been sick for most of their lives, and Todd and Kathy were always dealing with the logistics of hospital stays…not birthday parties.

As most of these kinds of events have been, this past year, it was relatively easy. I made the plans; Deb came with game ideas and great favor bags; Crystal helped get the invitations out and was at the party to help however we needed; Todd got the cake and headed up the basketball games at the party; Loyd made a table and hauled stuff (as usual); and MeMaw got the hotdogs ready.

Then, there were friends who helped. Friends we didn’t know until recently. One of Kathy’s friends, Lisa, was so sweet to get addresses for us. She also helped get girls to the party, and then she stayed and helped with the party. She has been a special blessing to me, these past two weeks…weeks that I have been so sad again. Another friend, Mrs. Smith…a teacher from the kids’ school, saw that Brooke didn’t have a many gifts as Brett did…and she went off and bought some more gifts for Brooke. Mrs. Smith told me that she had prayed for Brett and Brooke when they were having their transplants…all those years ago…and here she is involved in their lives, now…helping them again. These two ladies are some more of the special blessings that the Lord has sent our way, to bless us, yet again, in this hard time.

So today, I’m talking to the Lord, and this is what I am saying:
“Thank you, Lord, for all the bright blessings you have sent our way to light this dark path we are walking. Thank you for people who are willing to give of their time and resources…not because they have to, but because they want to. Thank you for the visible and material ways you have blessed us. We need all the help we can get.”

g

P.S. I know, if Kathy can look in on us, her face is beaming. She continues to be blessed… for whatever we give to others, lasts for all eternity.

more precious than gold

Our friend, Jill, has cancer. Recently, she wrote about I Peter 1:6,7 on her CaringBridge site:

“You have been grieved by various trials, that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ.
great trials.”

It seems that I would choose to do most anything to bypass great trials. I don’t like suffering. A commentary I read says this about suffering:

"Afflictions are but as a dark entry into our Father's house," wrote Thomas Brooks. Christians through the generations of the church have borne testimony to this experience. In the midst of the suffering we are able to see little or no point to it all. So we cry to God, "Why?" Afterward, whether very soon or much later, we find such good resulting from the suffering that we reach the point of being able to say sincerely, "The good I have seen coming out of the trial, especially the benefit of my knowing God far better now, is worth the suffering it took to get me here." Because we value the Lord and his kingdom and the crown of life more than we value ease or comfort, it becomes the choice of realism and wisdom to consider it pure joy whenever we face trials of many kinds. ‘However reluctant we may be to embrace it, we know that suffering rightly received is one of the Christian's supreme means of grace.’(Wenham 1974:79). “

This past week, I have asked Loyd several times: “How did I get through starting school last year?” I realize that God, in his great love, guided me, rescued me, guarded me, and gave me refuge. I know this because the great grief should have killed me…but it didn’t…it has given me something more precious than gold.

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climbing mountains

Last week, Loyd and I went on a short vacation to a state park in Oklahoma. There were some small mountains (hills), with lots of rocks, to climb. It was beautiful! Loyd and I were hiking to some cliffs that overlook a lake. It was a long hike, and we started up a rocky hill. I gave out, and sat on a log. Loyd continued to climb to see if he could find a cliff (just because he knew I wanted to stand on one so badly). He found one! He came back down and urged me on. He told me it was just a little way up…a hard climb, to be sure, but he assured me it was worth the climb. I garnered my energy and continued the climb. He was right! We came to a cliff. It overlooked a lake, and we could see forever. We were on top of the world!

As we were hiking back to the car (a long hike), I was thinking about how often I am going through a difficult circumstance, and I want to give up; but God urges me on…telling me how good it’s going to be at the top. I was thinking about how he helps me…urges me on…supports me…encourages me. How he helps me to get to the top (if I trust him and keep trudging ahead). I was also thinking how good it would be to have people, who walk along with us, helping us continue the climb in difficult times of our lives.

At the end of the mountain hike, I was tired! But…I was also exhilarated…proud of myself…more in love with my Loyd than ever…and in possession of a memory that will never leave me.

The life lesson in this…I pray that I will trust and obey so that God can lead me to the beauty he has ahead for me. I also pray that I will be aware of the needs of those around me… and be willing to help them continue the climb.

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the beach

We have just returned from our BIG Pitts beach trip. To say we are tired and worn out, would be an understatement! The ocean just about beat me to death! It will take me a few days to recover.

We missed Kathy. There were times when I was swinging in my hammock that I felt like my heart was going to break all over again. MeMaw made a very wise comment, though, …she said that we could not put everything on hold from now on…because we will never all be together again…that we were going to have to enjoy who we have with us and what we are doing. and, as usual, she is right! Joy, Blake, and Morgan could not come this year, but when we can be all together again, we will always be missing Kathy.

We did however, make some new memories. Bananagram was the game of the year…Deb found that one for us…we must have played at least a thousand rounds. The “snake of death” became the “flower of fear”…that’s just several inner-tubes taped together with duct tape…after riding the thing on some waves you feel like you’ve been in a major car accident. The little kids really enjoyed playing in the ocean this year. They were fearless, even when riding the “flower.” It was fun to watch the next door neighbors lob our kids with water balloons (using water balloon sling shots).

I don’t know if we will ever return to the beach, but I do know that we have some wonderful memories from the four years we have gone. At the end of the day, relationships that were built and memories that were made are really all you have anyway.

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100 years

Today, we celebrate the 100th birthday of Mrs. Virdie Drinkard, a very dear friend. We will have a celebration, at church, this afternoon. She wanted to have homemade ice cream and watermelon for refreshments.

Can you imagine all the living that would go into 100 years?! Think of all the changes in communication, travel, and…well…everything! Think of what one-hundred years would do to your body…your mind. Think of what all that living would do to your faith… your perspective…your insights.

Mrs. Drinkard has always been one of the most joyful people I have ever known. She is always glad to see you…always has a hug and kind words…and her laugh is contagious. She has lived about twice as long as I, and she has always seemed to have twice as much energy, too. She is a person I will never forget …one who made her little place in the world brighter, happier, more beautiful.

Happy birthday, Mrs. Drinkard. Thank you for the grace you have shown us through a life of love for God and for others. Thank you for a life well lived.

I love you,
g

in memoriam

In memoriam of Kathy Hiebert,
August 27, 1963-July 3, 2008

“They are not dead who live in the hearts they leave behind.
For in those whom they have blessed, they live life again.
And they shall live through the years, each day more beautiful.
As time declares their good, forgets the rest,
and proves their immortality.”