catastrophe

I was reading the introduction to the book of Ezekiel in The Message. It talks about how people face catastrophe in two common ways: with denial, or with despair. Catastrophe happens, and some people “shut their eyes tight or look the other way.” They “manage to act as if everything if going to be just fine; they take refuge in distractions and lies and fantasies…” they deny. Others are “paralyzed,” and “accept it as the end of the world.” They are “unwilling to do anything, concluding that life for all intents and purposes is over.” They “listlessly close their eyes to a world in which all the color has drained out, a world gone dead…”they despair.

When God’s people faced catastrophe in Ezekiel’s day, “denial was the primary response.” He “found himself living among a people of God who stubbornly refused to see what was right before their eyes (the denial crowd). There were also some who were unwilling to see anything other than what was right before their eyes (the despair crowd).” Ezekiel was able to show them that, “yes, there was a catastrophe, but God was at work in the catastrophe, sovereignly using the catastrophe. He showed them so that they would be able to embrace God in the worst of times.” Because of Ezekiel’s faithfulness, “God’s people emerged from that catastrophic century robust and whole.”

Ezekiel wrote in Chapter 36: 24-28:
"'For here's what I'm going to do: I'm going to take you out of these countries, gather you from all over, and bring you back to your own land. I'll pour pure water over you and scrub you clean. I'll give you a new heart, put a new spirit in you. I'll remove the stone heart from your body and replace it with a heart that's God-willed, not self-willed. I'll put my Spirit in you and make it possible for you to do what I tell you and live by my commands. You'll once again live in the land I gave your ancestors. You'll be my people! I'll be your God!"

And in Ezekiel 34: 30-31:
"They'll know, beyond doubting, that I, God, am their God, that I'm with them and that they, the people Israel, are my people. Decree of God, the Master: You are my dear flock, the flock of my pasture, my human flock, and I am your God.”

I must admit that I have responded to catastrophe with both denial and despair (though I’m more inclined to despair). I don’t want to live like this. I want to see the world as Ezekiel did, and the only way is to see him working in a catastrophe, is by living close to his heartbeat. Draw me closer.

g

find what i'm looking for

Amy Grant has a new album out…I love Amy Grant’s music. I have listened to it for decades. There is something about her lyrics that have always spoken to me “where I am.” Recently, it is apparent that she has experienced a lot of grief, and that she has caused some grief to others. Her songs speak of remorse for the grief that she has caused. Maybe she is coming to the realization of who she really is…I have done that in recent years, and I have to say that it has be liberating as well as humbling. Liberating, in that I have realized that I don’t have to be what everybody (including myself) thinks I should be; humbling, in that I’m understanding that for every “good” attribute I have, there is at least one “not-so-good” attribute to balance it out.

This is what Amy’s song, “Find What You’re Looking For,” says about it:

“What would they find if they uncovered all my tracks
Of roads I’d snuck down and darkness and never turn back
Well they’d find what they’re looking for
Secrets and so much more
What would they find if they searched for a heart of gold
They’d find sacrifices of time and money never told
Yeah they’d find what they’re looking for
Kindness and so much more
‘Cause there’s so much good in the worst of us
So much bad in the best of us
It never makes sense for any of us
To criticize the rest of us
We’ll just find what we’re looking for
We’ll find it and so much more.”

So…what am I looking for? I am trying to see the ways that I can see God working in my life and others’ lives. I would hope I would seek out the best…accept people (including myself) as people are…remembering that all of us are a compilation of good and evil; black and white… sometimes even gray…; pleasant and obnoxious. All of us loved by God.
At times (and with certain people) this isn’t easy… I’m not always able to do it…it’s that tunnel vision that I have. But I think I am getting better at it…some days….

I’m trying to remember that I’ll find what I’m looking for.

g

kingdoms

Sometimes life can be rather depressing… especially if you pay attention to the news. This world is a mess, and it is easy to get “sucked” into the bad news and to forget the “good news” that Jesus brought to us. It is also easy to get so involved in the drama, sadness, and pain of your life every day, on this earth, and forget that this is not the real life of forever.
Jesus was very clear that there are two different kingdoms in operation…the kingdom of man and the kingdom of God. One is about power and money; the other about weakness and poverty. One chooses living for self; the other dying to self. One always wants to be first; the other willingly takes last place. I like what Jesus said in Matthew 5:

“You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule. You're blessed when you feel you've lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you. You're blessed when you're content with just who you are—no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought. You're blessed when you've worked up a good appetite for God. He's food and drink in the best meal you'll ever eat. You're blessed when you care. At the moment of being 'care-full,' you find yourselves cared for. You're blessed when you get your inside world—your mind and heart—put right. Then you can see God in the outside world. You're blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That's when you discover who you really are, and your place in God's family. You're blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God's kingdom. Not only that—count yourselves blessed every time people put you down or throw you out or speak lies about you to discredit me. What it means is that the truth is too close for comfort and they are uncomfortable. You can be glad when that happens—give a cheer, even!—for though they don't like it, I do! And all heaven applauds.”

One kingdom is only for a lifetime; the other for eternity. I want to live in God’s kingdom now, and show others the way. That is not always easy because I am pulled many ways (and I still want my way a lot)…but God will help me… he has already sent everything he had and everything I need…Jesus.

Thank you, Father,
g

fifty-fifty

This past week held some of the unexpected for us. Our Amy came home for spring break, went to her doctor for her yearly checkup, and ended up with a surgery and one less ovary. There was the doctor telling us that there was a fifty percent chance that the tumor she had just removed from our beloved daughter could be malignant, and that she had never seen anything like it before. Fifty-fifty had an altogether different sound to me, than it did a couple of years ago...what did it mean…half a chance for life…or half a chance for death…What (who) decides which way it goes? I’ve already learned that the most sincere prayers of the faithful don’t always turn back the course of a catastrophe about to happen; and that the life you get is not always the life you had planned. It seems arbitrary…a “shoot of the dice”, so to speak. There was one thing that came to me almost immediately, however…whatever comes this way, I can trust God with it. No matter the pain, the suffering, the loss….no matter if I soar high with eagles, or walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I can trust God in it all.

As Psalm 91:1-2 proclaims:

“Those who live in the shelter of the Most High
will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
This I declare about the Lord:
He alone is my refuge, my place of safety;
he is my God, and I trust him.”

Our fifty percent outcome, this time, was on the side that we desired so fervently, but it reminded me, once again, I can trust him…one hundred percent of the time…through the good, and through the bad…I can trust him.

g

don't save

“Don't save anything for a special occasion. Being alive is a special occasion! ~Anonymous~

I remember reading about a woman who died, and how her family found all the beautiful things that they had given her, through the years, for gifts. The nightgowns, lingerie, and other lovely clothing items were still in the tissue, in which they had been wrapped. They had never been worn. Evidently, she was saving her beautiful gifts for another, perhaps special, day. She never got to enjoy wearing them.

In my life, I don’t have trouble with clothing, but I do tend to save our wedding china and crystal for more special days, and I definitely waste a lot of “everyday” occasions, while waiting for a “special” day.

I bought some food at the grocery store this past week, and at the time I thought “Loyd and I won’t be able to eat all this,” but I still bought it all. Yesterday, we had a snow day…something we rarely have in East Texas. I got all that food out…cooked it…called MeMaw, and invited the family, and we gathered and had an impromptu feast. What a treat it was, and how glad I am that we took the effort.

We took the time to celebrate being alive, and enjoyed having the blessing of each other. The snow made it more than an ordinary day, but we made it an extraordinary occasion. One I will always remember.

g

truth

So much of life is confusing. Truth, on this earth, seems to be elusive…a lot of “she said, he said”. We can look the situations of life head-on, in the eye (as it were), and still completely miss the truth. We are so finite, so constricted, so tunnel-visioned. Much of our “truth” is based on our experience…a view of life from where we stand… and it seems we grope in the dark to touch whatever we can find that seems true and steady based on our truth. It’s precarious, at best…like stretching really far to catch a butterfly while standing on a wobbly rocking chair…

We are thinking about I Corinthians, at Java’s, right now. 4:5 says:

“So don't get ahead of the Master and jump to conclusions with your judgments before all the evidence is in. When he comes, he will bring out in the open and place in evidence all kinds of things we never even dreamed of—inner motives and purposes and prayers. Only then will any one of us get to hear the "Well done!" of God.”

God knows the truth. He has known, since the beginning of time, the truth of each of our lives….the thoughts, the motives, the beginnings and the endings, even the prayers we don’t realize we utter. I can trust him to lead me into all truth, but it often means clinging to him, taking one step after another into the darkness, knowing he is taking me where I need to go…to the eternal truth of him.

participating with jesus

I heard from two friends in the past few days. They are both going through great trials…life and death trials. We have been discussing I Corinthians, at Java Jack’s, and I thought of 1:9 when I heard from my friends. It goes like this:

“God is faithful (reliable, trustworthy, and therefore ever true to His promise, and He can be depended on); by Him you were called into companionship and participation with His Son, Jesus Christ our Lord."

I like participating in the “good” things of Jesus: fellowship, forgiveness, joy; but I would prefer to forgo the “bad” things: pain, sorrow, suffering. The later three, though, probably help me understand Him better. I don’t like participating in “pain,” but God knows me and He knows what I need, and I can trust Him to do the best for me. God is faithful in all things.