Sunday, April 11, 2010

find what i'm looking for

Amy Grant has a new album out…I love Amy Grant’s music. I have listened to it for decades. There is something about her lyrics that have always spoken to me “where I am.” Recently, it is apparent that she has experienced a lot of grief, and that she has caused some grief to others. Her songs speak of remorse for the grief that she has caused. Maybe she is coming to the realization of who she really is…I have done that in recent years, and I have to say that it has be liberating as well as humbling. Liberating, in that I have realized that I don’t have to be what everybody (including myself) thinks I should be; humbling, in that I’m understanding that for every “good” attribute I have, there is at least one “not-so-good” attribute to balance it out.

This is what Amy’s song, “Find What You’re Looking For,” says about it:

“What would they find if they uncovered all my tracks
Of roads I’d snuck down and darkness and never turn back
Well they’d find what they’re looking for
Secrets and so much more
What would they find if they searched for a heart of gold
They’d find sacrifices of time and money never told
Yeah they’d find what they’re looking for
Kindness and so much more
‘Cause there’s so much good in the worst of us
So much bad in the best of us
It never makes sense for any of us
To criticize the rest of us
We’ll just find what we’re looking for
We’ll find it and so much more.”

So…what am I looking for? I am trying to see the ways that I can see God working in my life and others’ lives. I would hope I would seek out the best…accept people (including myself) as people are…remembering that all of us are a compilation of good and evil; black and white… sometimes even gray…; pleasant and obnoxious. All of us loved by God.
At times (and with certain people) this isn’t easy… I’m not always able to do it…it’s that tunnel vision that I have. But I think I am getting better at it…some days….

I’m trying to remember that I’ll find what I’m looking for.