grief

Grief…what to do with it? There is no “Grief 101”, no manual, no online degree. ? It came unwelcomed and it won’t go away. With the first nightmarish call from Houston, grief flew at me, in my face, clawing and squawking. I fought it off with all my might, but it kept at me.

I took one change of clothing to the hospital with me. As the days crawled on, I stayed. I had to buy more clothes. I told Loyd that I was staying until I saw Kathy’s eyes again. That never happened…I never saw those snapping brown eyes, heard a saucy retort, or shared a funny story. My baby sister was gone, and grief hung on my shoulder making its home in my life.

It’s odd how I can forget about it for a very short time. But then I feel its steely talons digging into me, and a cry bursts from deep within that is as primal in nature as anything I have ever experienced. It doubles me over and shakes my whole body, and I gasp for the breath I can hardly find within me.

Grief…what to do with it? Isaiah saw the coming cure for those stricken with grief and sin and pain, and his words are recorded in Chapter 53 of Isaiah:

“…a man of sorrows, …familiar with suffering.…Surely he took up our infirmities
and carried our sorrows …. But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed. “

So, as I crumble under this load, the name I cry out over and over can only be: “Jesus.”